


Flash In The Pan(ties)

by glitsune



Category: Friends
Genre: Bromance, Episode Related, Hand Jobs, M/M, Panties, Public Hand Jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:10:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3215357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitsune/pseuds/glitsune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending version of 'The One After The Superbowl (2)’: after Joey comes in the bathroom and Chandler is hiding in the stall, Joey feels honor-bound to help, the best way he knows how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flash In The Pan(ties)

**Author's Note:**

> First little bit is dialogue taken from the show, just to set the scene and as a reminder for those who haven't seen the episode in awhile, and then carried on with what I wish had actually happened. (And let's just pretend Ross never came in).

“Chandler? What are you still doing here? I thought you guys took off?”

“Oh no no no, she took off… with my clothes!”

The note of panic was quite clear in Chandler’s voice, but he wasn’t even bothering to hide it at this point. He knew Joey was going to rib him for this, but there was still a fragment of hope that his friend might actually help him out here. There was a slight pause.

“Are you naked in there?”

Chandler could hear the laughter in Joey’s voice. He gritted his teeth, bracing one hand against the thin door of the cubicle.

“Not exactly.” he bit out “…I’m wearing panties.”

“Huh. Ya… ya always wear panties?”

He closed his eyes, really not in the mood to be made fun of right at this second. Though he knew the material was right there. He had to admit that if the roles had been reversed, he would have been on the floor laughing his ass off right about now.

“No no, this is the first time.”

“Wow… talk about your bad luck! I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off wit’ yer clothes!”

His sarcasm clearly wasn’t quite getting through to Joey, who no doubt thought that lacy thongs were a perfectly normal thing to wear to a restaurant. Chandler wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised. In fact, Joey’s own lack of surprise seemed to highly suggest that he wasn’t exactly a stranger to this particular practice.

Chandler climbed onto the closed toilet seat so that he could peer over the cubicle at Joey. His friend looked amused, sure, but more at the fact that Chandler had been stranded here in just his panties… Susie’s panties, than the fact that he was wearing the panties in the first place.

“I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them.”

He didn’t try to keep the edge off his words. Joey didn’t seem to notice, though. He had an expression like a child on Christmas morning.

“Well let me see!” he insisted, bouncing slightly on the spot and gesturing wildly, as though that was the most reasonable request in the world. “

No!” Chandler exclaimed loudly “I’m not letting you, or anybody else see, _ever_!”

He disappeared down from his perch back into the cubicle.

“Alright, alright.” Joey said, sounding a little hurt.

Chandler didn’t have time to feel sorry for snapping because the next second, Joey’s face had appeared over the side of the cubicle, peering intently over at him, clearly standing on the toilet seat of the next cubicle along.

“Whoah-ho-ho… someone’s flossing!” Joey said, pointing at him with his usual shiteating grin.

The heat rose in Chandler’s cheeks as he desperately turned around to hide his ass from Joey’s roving gaze, and then realised that the front view was even worse, especially since the tiny lacey triangle of material barely covered his manhood at the best of times, and since he was still showing signs of… excitement from before, it was about as useless as nothing at all. In fact, he was beginning to think that it would have been better to have been totally naked after all. In some ways this seemed way, way worse. With both hands cupping his privates, he pressed his back to the opposite wall, and glared defiantly at Joey.

“Why don’t you give me your underpants?” he begged desperately.

“Oh no, can’t help you… I’m not wearing any.” Joey shrugged.

“How can you not be wearing any underwear?”

“Oh, I’m getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong?”

There was the sound of footsteps from outside, and Joey hurriedly hopped down into the cubicle he was standing in, and closed the door. The two of them waited in silence for whoever it was to go away, and if nothing else, Chandler was thankful that Joey hadn’t called attention to him. Much as he liked to make fun of Chandler, it seemed that he at least recognised that this was something he shouldn’t be broadcasting to the restaurant at large. Some of his panic appeared to have rubbed off on Joey, who now seemed to be hiding as though he had something to be embarrassed about himself. How long does it take people to pee? It seemed like an age before there was the sound of a hand dryer and then the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing.

“Have they gone?” Joey asked in a stage whisper

“How should I know?! Go out and check!”

“Why do I hafta check?”

Chandler very nearly smacked his own forehead on the door in frustration.

“Because,” he said in a strangled sort of voice “You’ve still got all your clothes on.”

“Oh yeah,” Joey said brightly, and there was a click as he opened the toilet cubicle “Coast’s clear. Hey, can I come in?”

He rapped on the door of Chandler’s toilet cubicle. Chandler hesitated and then, despite his better judgement, opened the door for just long enough for Joey to slide into the stall with him. He regretted it almost immediately. The cubicle had seemed large and roomy enough for two when Susie had been in here with him, or at the least the closeness had seemed sexy and intimate, but he was suddenly aware of his nakedness in a whole new light as his chest was suddenly incredibly close to Joey’s. He would have thought that this, if nothing else, would cause his erection to wilt, but it stood firm as ever underneath his hands. Joey looked completely unconcerned, lounging backwards against the wall and pulling an expression that was either deep contemplation or he had let off a fart (Chandler sincerely hoped it was the former).

“I could lend you my pants.” he suggested.

Chandler stared at him in utter amazement, wondering how long it would take for Joey to twig. Joey looked back at him. Apparently he was going to have to spell it out.

“If you give me your trousers… and you aren’t wearing underwear…” he jerked his head meaningfully.

“Oh yeah! Good point! Then it would be my bits 'n' pieces hanging out all over the place.”

“Although, if you still wanna, I’d rather it was you than me.”

Joey held up his hands and shook his head rapidly. Then he shrugged out of his jacket and held it out to Chandler, who paused and then took his hands off his crotch, slipping his arms into the jacket and pulling it on. It fell to about his hips and just about covered up his butt and, if he buttoned it, should just about shield his groin from view. He stared angrily downwards, doing up the buttons and trying to arrange the jacket so that it hid the thong, and its contents, from view. It wasn’t exactly easy. The gap between the two sides of the jacket was exactly positioned over his crotch, a little higher even than it should be, since he was a little taller than Joey. He glanced up at Joey, who seemed to be on another planet entirely, staring at his semi erect cock with the same expression as when a woman with a particularly impressive rack leaned down in front of him.

“Uh. Up here, big guy.” he clicked his fingers in front of Joey’s face.

Joey blinked and looked up, and then smirked, totally unashamed as usual: “Little Chandler seems pretty fond of the panties.”

“Little Chandler doesn’t get a vote.” he reached down to try and tuck his penis more effectively under the waistband of the tiny pants, which clearly were not invented with this purpose in mind. “I thought I was gonna get sex and even though I know I’m not… getting sex, in my head, I haven’t quite caught up… down there.” he babbled after a moment, because Joey just standing there watching him desperately trying to wrestle these… ridiculously impractical panties over his junk was suddenly making him feel, despite his lack of clothes, like it was really, really warm in here. He also didn’t want Joey to think he actually had a fetish for wearing panties. Even though he was pretty sure that was at least most of the reason why he was still so excited. Maybe he should just take the damn things off, but as it stood they were the only thing affording him any protection in that area at all.

“Man, you’re still pitching one helluva tent there.” Joey commented breezily “Maybe you oughta take care of the little fella before we go back out.”

Chandler hated to say it, but he’d actually been thinking much the same thing. When he’d first put the panties on, they’d fit very snugly but quite comfortably, and had at least covered up most of him. And, he had to say, walking out into a crowded restaurant wearing just his roommate’s jacket and his ex’s panties was embarrassing enough, but somehow having a hard-on would make it… just so much worse.

“Alright, get out then.”

“Oh,” Joey sounded almost crestfallen “You sure you don’t… need any help?”

“What?” Chandler spluttered, sure he must have misunderstood.

“Hey,” Joey held his hands up “Nothin’ weird about it. Just, I’ve seen how long it takes you in the shower every morning and, you know…”

“You think you can do a better job?” Chandler finished incredulously “I’ve had a lot of practice at this, y’know. A _lot_. I think I can handle it.”

“I thought you said you liked it better when it was somebody else’s hand there, ya know..?” Joey mimed ‘jerking’ in front of his own pelvis.

Chandler silently made a note never to engage in another drunken chat about his sexual preferences with Joey ever again. It was true, come to think of it, that he much preferred getting a handjob to just doing it himself. But this was Joey. That was a bridge that, if crossed, might be totally irreparable. This was bigger than Ross and Rachel, because those two had been friends sure, but him and Joey… they were closer than close.

“Chan, I don’t mind.” Joey shrugged “It’s nothin’ to me. You’re my best bud.”

 _I’m not gay_ , Chandler thought, but maybe if he was so secure in his sexuality he would be totally fine with having Joey jerk him off? Maybe that actually was a thing straight dudes could do for each other and that would be okay? He thought that maybe what unnerved him the most is that it didn’t actually feel like a big deal at all. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, but maybe that was his dick talking. Because the more he thought about it, the more he did kind of want it to happen.

“Well.” he quipped “If you promise to call me in the morning.”

He undid the jacket, letting it fall open, and pulling down the thong. His cock curled up against his belly, and they both stared at it. For a moment, he thought that maybe Joey really had just been joking. Joey was looking at him with an odd expression on his face. Then he spat in one hand, and rubbed his palm down Chandler’s shaft, spreading the wetness, pausing to gently move the pad of his thumb around the tip, collecting pre-come, and then moving his fingers loosely from tip to base and back again. Chandler closed his eyes, thinking maybe he should imagine that it was a beautiful woman touching him, but his mind seemed to have gone blank. And even though he was fully aware that it was Joey’s hand on his dick, somehow that didn’t seem to matter. Joey loosened his grip even more, running his fingers along the vein that ran down the underside. Chandler let out a soft groan before he could help himself, and his cock twitched in Joey’s palm. He half opened his eyes. Joey was looking infuriatingly smug.

“Could you _be_ any more of a prick tease?” Chandler complained “I thought you said you would do it _quickly_.”

He was conscious that at any moment somebody might walk in. Although, as it had with Susie, that did sort of add to the excitement.

“Alright, alright, c’mere then,” Joey pulled him closer, pressing the front of his body to the back of Chandler’s so that he could reach around him with both hands.

His chin rested on Chandler’s shoulder and his hips were pressed to Chandler’s practically bare ass, his arms wrapped around him. Chandler knew the two of them had a pretty physical relationship, maybe unusually so, but it still surprised him that they both seemed just so comfortable with this.

“D’you like that?” Joey was murmuring in his ear, sliding a hand to play with Chandler’s balls.

“Mmm _hm_ ,” Chandler’s voice had gone very high pitched, he realised, as Joey rolled his balls in one hand and stroked his dick rapidly in the other.

“Tell me how you want it, man.” Joey was using the same kind of voice as if he was making Chandler a plate of pasta, only lower and deeper, a sort of voice which, objectively, Chandler could see why people might see that as sexy.

“Harder,” Chandler managed “Grip me harder, yes- _ah_ , that’s it, and as fast as you— _oh_ …”

He broke off, as Joey immediately tightened his hand around him, moving faster with only a pause to spit in his hand again. That was it, that was exactly the technique he’d be using if he was alone, and yet, the fact that he wasn’t alone made it so much more exciting. He also frequently lamented that he didn’t have enough hands for all the ways he’d like to touch himself when he jerked off, and now he had hands free to rub up his belly and chest, tweaking his nipples (two of them, anyway, the third didn’t really give any erotic stimulation) and not even trying to hide the fact that he was horny as hell and didn’t give himself much longer to last. At some point, he’d leaned back closer to Joey, his head lolling back onto his friend’s shoulder, and Joey rested his cheek against Chandler’s and pressed his lips into his neck, hot and wet, and Chandler shuddered, arching his throat up as he offered his neck up.

“Bite me there,” he pleaded “Joe, I need—“

He stopped speaking again as Joey, again, instantly responded to what he was thinking, parting his lips to suck down on Chandler’s neck, inhaling sharply as though he wanted to breathe him all in, and biting down until Chandler made a noise embarrassingly close to a whimper, squirming against his torso, lifting up on his toes, his socked feet threatening to slip on the floor as he seemed to have forgotten how to stand. Joey chuckled close to his ear and sucked hard on his neck, enough to leave a mark, but Chandler really didn’t care at this moment.

“Oh-hh g _oddd_ …” he choked out, hips pistoning as he came, spurt after spurt, over Joey’s fist. Joey didn’t let go of him until his limp body had righted itself and Chandler stepped away from him, tugging the thong back over his hips and chanced an uncertain look at Joey, who was busily wiping off his hands on toilet roll and seemed utterly unconcerned.

“Uh. Thanks.” Chandler reached out and awkwardly patted Joey on the shoulder.

“Dude, if that’s how you react to having your dick stroked I’m not surprised you got left in just your panties.” Joey teased, slapping Chandler lightly on the arm and pulling the jacket back around him, fastening the buttons.

“What do you want, a kiss?” Chandler rubbed his neck lightly: it was still sore, and he just knew there would be a big purple hickey there.

Not that he was worried about anybody finding out, since people would just assume it was from Susie, but he was slightly concerned that he wouldn’t be able to look in the mirror without remembering the feeling of Joey’s hand, firm and assured, a little rough…

“Nah, I’m just kidding.” Joey opened the door and headed out of the cubicle.

Chandler waited for a moment before calling after him: “then how’s about I return the favor sometime?”

He was greeted with complete silence, but he hauled himself onto the toilet seat, peering over the side of the cubicle to see Joey grinning from ear to ear to himself as he left the bathroom.


End file.
